American’s love to dance and smoke weed! So the latest craze is The American Bongstand T-Shirts! Do some Bong hits while dancing to the oldies in our American Bongstand shirts. Our American Bongstand tees are printed nicely with our sublimated “Rasta Colors” on all styles and sizes. So order a Bongstand t-shirt and put on them dancing heels baby!
Enjoy The Great Outdoors with our Bukkake Falls T-Shirt! “The Cum Capped Mountains at Bukkake Falls look like Breasts” the locals claimed, so we took our artist’s out to the infamous waterfall in Snatchole, Montana to design our latest Bukkake Collection T-Shirt! Bukkake Falls cum’s printed on all styles and sizes. So if you’re ever in Snatchole Montana ask the locals “Where the hell is Bukkake Falls?” and the’ll be sure to show you the way.
Join the latest masturbation sex craze with our Hung Fu T-Shirts! Hung Fu comes printed on all colors and styles. Read more below
BANGKOK, June 5 — Thai police officers investigating the death of David Carradine, the American actor who made his name in the “Kung Fu” television series in the 1970s, say he most likely died of asphyxiation, possibly when an autoerotic sex game went wrong.
Carradine, 72, was found naked in a closet in an upscale Bangkok hotel on Thursday with cords around his neck and his genitals. The police are checking DNA found on the cords, but say they found no signs of a struggle, suggesting that Carradine might have either tied himself up or submitted voluntarily to his incapacitation.
Holy Shit Balls! Buying cool t-shirts in bulk is now made easy. 10 of our Kick-Ass funny T-Shirts for only $100! Now you and your friends can all be wearing our classic offensive t-shirts for $10 each! So what the hell are you waiting for? That’s a Savings of Over 40-50% Off! Order today click here.
Eccentric music producer Phil Spector The originator of the “Wall of Sound” production technique, has been convicted of 2nd degree murder. Spector was a pioneer of the 1960s girl group sound and clocked in over twenty-five Top 40 hits between 1960 and 1965. His courtroom hairstyles are one to rival Michael Jackson’s courtroom pajama party! Now that Phil is facing 19 years to life in the California State Prison System we here at 313 decided to bring the “Wall Of Hair” to life with our Phil Spector Killer Hair T-Shirts! Old Phil’s fro is nicely sublimated on all our tasty colors and styles.
Times are tough here at 313 Merch so we decided to whore our very own model Sarah Jane to T-Shirt Hell’s Whore OF The Month Contest! and she won! and now we can afford cheese on our whoppers this month! Sarah has an ass that can launch a 1,000 loads, whoops I mean t-shirts!! You can check her out on Model Mayhem here and If anyone needs a model give her a shout we will whore her out again if the price is right! You can also buy this t shirt from T-Shirt hell here.
Once a women is introduced to Colonel Angus she’ll settle for nothing less. Our Colonel Angus T-Shirts cum in all styles and sizes. Colonel Angus looks his best on ACU-Sand t-shirts. It is our pleasure to give you Colonel Angus from the shady thicket!
All this Gunt talk lately has inspired 313 Merch to demand our artist Sly to pen our latest masterpiece, Gunts N’ Roses. The Gunt’s are back after over a decade of overeating a whorific amount of fast food! Dressed to impress and show off their gunts in some porky pink and gunt green elastic band stretch pants they are ready to eat! Gunts N’ Roses are known for the hit songs “Sweet Gunt of Mine” and “Welcome to the Gunt Hole” from their debut album Appetite for Consumption. Nine years and many spaghetti incidents later Gunts N’ Roses finally released there highly anticipated album “Chinese Buffet” and are currently on tour at a All You Can Eat Buffet near you! Order your Gunt N’ Roses T-Shirt today available in all styles and sizes.
What the hell is a Gunt? Well Urban Dictionary gives us the meaning as simply The bulging area found on large older women between the waist and the genital area. Not quite a gut, not quite a cunt… The Gunt (Gut+Cunt= Gunt). Well this brings to mind all the foul spandex wearing beasts that troll the All You Can Eat Buffets daily. Read the rest of this entry »
